because I love her.

No one ever thought it would turn out this way... least of all me. That's the funny thing about life. It doesn't turn out the way you planned or expected. Little twists and turns happen to even the most controlled and disciplined lives.

Holland came home from the hospital on a sunny Wednesday afternoon and things haven't been the same since. Abby, my then 9 year old shih-tzu, was huddled under an azalea bush beside the pool retaining wall in the back yard. She wouldn't move. Then she spotted me and came out to find the one thing she never wanted to see, someone who would be more important for me to take care of than she was. Her personality never rebounded to where it was before. She seemed depressed and on several occasions I considered that finding a new home for her would be the best option for everyone involved; Abby may possibly find a way to be happier with someone new than she'd ever be with old me and the new munchkin. As I explored that option, people gave (unsolicited) advice and criticism more eagerly than they'd hand out Halloween candy. "I can't believe you'd even consider that... how selfish of you!" and "People like you make me sick... throwing away a part of your family because they're not convenient for you anymore!" It astounded me to hear people's inaccurate perceptions of what was prompting my actions. Still... part of me let their statements get to me and I halted my efforts. I was going to keep her -- it seemed the easier option and I wouldn't face condemnation for it. Plus, I didn't know how Abby would react to a new household.

Fast-forward a few months to Holland's quest for mobility. She began rolling everywhere... then crawling everywhere, and now she's walking everywhere. Ha... and Abby didn't think it could get any worse. One day, Abby was resting on the couch and Holland was "cruising' the furniture in the den. She was headed to where the dog was resting and Abby saw her coming. Instead of moving, Abby snapped at her. Contact wasn't made, but it was close enough and rough enough to get Holland's attention and to prompt me to fly up out of my seat, snatch Abby up and make it perfectly clear to her that behavior would NOT happen again. The situation was changing... now Abby's depression wasn't the only issue. She had just sent Holland a warning... one that I couldn't ignore.

Abby is with a new family now. They're people we know and they have one other shih tzu who is pampered and spoiled even more than I used to pamper and spoil Abby. she seems happy so far, and that makes me glad. I miss her very much, but know that I did the right thing.

Finding a new home for my treasured pet was neither selfish or convenient... it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It was a journey of self-discovery and self-sacrifice. I'm grateful for the lesson I've learned through this situation, and hope that one day when I share it with my daughter, she'll benefit from it, too.