Ten years is a lifetime... and no time at all.

Not many of those "friend surveys" forwarded through e-mail will be completed by this blogger. Usually it's because I lack the time or inclination. However, recently one posted by a dear friend of mine got me thinking. The survey was entitled "How have you changed in the last 10 years." In my opinion, that's worth more than a survey.

Calling to mind who I was 10 years ago is like trying to recall my birth. I just can't remember. I'm not the same person I was when I came into this world. I'm not the same person I was when I came into my 20's. I have pictures. I have college report cards and sorority scrapbooks... but have no idea who I was. I don't even remember "20-year-old Jane." I know that I was in school, that I lived with an incredible roommate who remains a dear friend today, that I drove a little red Mazda with a sunroof that I usually had open-- even in the cold weather, because I loved having the sunroof so much. But... that's not who I was-- that's what I did, or my "then" situation.

Things that are brought to mind are the lectures of my elders that "you're so young..." and "you'll understand when you grow up..." which likely received sighs, huffs or eye-rolls in return. The thing is, the only honest recollection I can make of my true self 10 years ago is that I was exceedingly immature. I thought I knew everything and was very impressed with myself.

Now, I hear myself trying to guide younger people who show shades of that 20-year-old person I barely remember in myself. I hear their "know-it-all" replies and just sigh... wondering if there's ever a 20-year-old who will actually listen to anyone older than they... and take to heart the words of wisdom... saving themselves weeks or years of ridiculous, immature, foolish behavior.

As I sit in my home, thanking God for somehow pulling me out of the ridiculousness that I used to call my fabulous life, I cannot imagine how I've changed... all I know is that I have. As my daughter kicks inside of me as to remind me that she's getting ready to greet the world, I cannot fathom what I deemed vital.

Many things seem so much more foolish to me now; such important matters as who thinks what about whom and the goings-on of different people over a weekend... time spent with associates I called friends... who were just in my life because of circumstance, not because we truly cared about each other. Oh, the time that was wasted!

I find utterly ridiculous the mindless rambings and ridiculous prioritizations of people in the age group of my "20-year-old" self; finding a boyfriend, keeping a boyfriend, breaking up with a boyfriend, trips to the lake over a weekend... The sacrifices made by foolish girls for such fleeting things are just crazy. I find even more ridiculous those same childish ramblings from people of my "now" age group. Thank God I was given the graces to grow up!

So. How have I changed in the last 10 years?
The most important entity in my life is God, not me.
I can see 5 years from now... not 5 weeks.
A Friday night spent relaxing at home is cherished, not laughable.
Money doesn't mean more stuff. It means more savings for security years down the road.
My sweet pets are companions, not hobbies.
Friends are cherished commodities, not useful socialization tools... of which I'd rather have 1 great one than 100 others.
Family is precious, not a pain in the butt.
I'd rather give up some time, comforts and luxuries now to establish more security, flexibility and happiness years from now.
Work is a means to create financial security, not a profession that defines the "who" of me.
My social circle is delightfully diminished... leaving more time for people that really matter.
Most writings done by me are done for joy- for family- for memory... not for profession, for pay, to make an impression.
I prefer biting my tongue to arguing, allowing my thoughts to fully develop so they can be coherently shared and discussed with the opposing viewpoint.
Yelling is not okay, but simply a less sophisticated form of communication.
Love isn't a tool to gain things... it's a gift for others.

How have you changed?

If you could shake hands with yourself in 10 years, how would you hope to have changed into a better person than you are today? What are you doing to become that person?

Don't answer for me. Answer for yourself.