The "new rules" for dating

While checking my hotmail account, I stumbled onto a ridiculous article meant for people who are in the dating world. Having recently exited that group of people, now a happy bride, I find no need for the article since my DH and I are perfectly happy with our continuing dating habits. I do, however, wish to field some information of this sort for the greater good of my darling single friends who I so adore. The article I found was on the MSN homepage with the title "HOT ON HOTMAIL: LADIES- DATING'S NEW RULES" I think the MSN content editors picked the wrong "H" adjective. They should have written "Hogwash on Hotmail".

The article's author, a self-described singleton who seems to use "The Rules" as a cafeteria menu, has assumed a role of instructing on dating how-to when it doesn't seem she's at all successful. Below are the four rules she gave and the reason(s) they are hogwash.

Rule #1: Game-playing can be exciting, not evilGame-playing is cheating. It's not cheating the person you're dating. It's cheating YOU. Don't play games unless that's how you'd have someone treat you. You wouldn't want that... no one would. It's the golden rule. Games are always wrong. Be true to yourself and you'll have nothing to fear.

Rule #2: Ladies, take his number Ladies, DO NOT TAKE HIS NUMBER. In the whole of nature, the MALE is the aggressor. Allow him to be. You are worth a little effort. HELL, YOU'RE WORTH A LOT OF EFFORT. He is, too, however... he's also BY NATURE the aggressor, so please allow the natural flow happen and let him do the chase. It's not game playing. It's how God made us. If a guy won't go so far as to search the bar/restaurant/club/church/city park (wherever you've met) for a pen, why do you think he'll EVER put effort into you? If he asks for your number, let him do the legwork. If he doesn't ask for your number, NEXT! Trust me, there WILL be a next, and maybe he'll be worth your time and will REALIZE that you're worth his effort.


Rule #3: Guysquit with the complimentsGuys, don't quit with the compliments. If you think a girl has on nice shoes, COMPLIMENT THEM. If you think she has pretty hair, TELL HER. If you like the way her skirt flits in the breeze like a lazy butterfly, SAY IT. You won't sound dumb. Trust me. YOU'LL GET BROWNIE POINTS FOR NOTICING THAT SHE'S WEARING SHOES, that she HAS hair, that you noticed that she put on a pretty skirt and can point out one of the many qualities she admired when she tried it on in the dressing room of whatever store from which it was purchased.

Rule #4: You dont always have to be yourselfSHUT UP. You don't have to be, but you should be. Who are you representing if not yourself? If you're not yourself, WHO ARE YOU!?!? If you're not yourself, how do you ever expect anyone to know you... if you go around masquerading as someone else (maybe not in costume... but in attitude) then how is ANYONE to know who you are... and who you're pretending to be? The MAIN thing I'd go back and change about many (if not all) of the 'relationships' I've flitted in and out of in my life, I'd say this was it. I was so worried about doing something that "he wouldn't like" or that "he'd think was goofy" or whatever... that I went around being a shadow of myself. You know what... I can do air guitar and lip sync into a hairbrush in front of my DH and SURE HE THINKS I'M GOOFY... but I AM goofy. I'm me. I'm goofy. Be you. Be whatever YOU are. Whatever you are, you're beautiful and unique... and always be THAT.

Natalie Krinsky of Happen Magazine penned those ridiculous rules. (Has anyone ever heard of this magazine, or is it just that I'm living under a rock??) I have one note for Ms. Krinsky. It follows.

Dear Ms. Krinsky,
After reading your article, it is plain to see why you are single and will be for the forseeable future. You haven't a clue.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Gossett